It seems like since this new year has started, my commitment to my relationship with God has been phenomenal. I am reading my bible daily, studying a devotional book, and laying before him in prayer to seek his face and deepen the intimacy of our relationship. One of my main prayers is for God's will to be done in my life and for me to be able to hear Him. Not only hear Him but to be obedient when He speaks to me. During my prayer and supplication, I also toil with the issue of asking for my own desires such as a new job or even relocation. I want to be a person whose spirituality can out-weigh the flesh and I would rather ask God for more spiritual gifts than temperal things. In the midst of my praying, I still sometimes find my self looking for the answers to solve my "problems".
Recently, I found a job opening that I had been waiting for and immediately I began the application process. I was applying online and accidentally closed the browser and lost all of my information. I was devastated due to the fact that I would have to start the application process completely over. After weeks of putting it off, I went back to fulfill the application, complete it, and submit it to the company. I just knew that God was going to grant me this wish after the way I'd been praying and then had to struggle to complete the application after losing all of my information. In the ensuing days, I'd been checking the company's website for recently closed/filled positions. Then one day, I saw the job I'd applied for had been filled. You can imagine the hurt I felt because I was thinking that my chance had finally come along.
Have you ever felt this way? You know that you've been praying and asking God for something and then you don't receive it. It's a disappointment, another let down, and you feel as if God is not listening to you! Then you start to question and blame yourself. What am I doing? Why can't I get what I want? Let me share something with you. God is listening to you and knows more about your wants and desires than you do. It may not have to do with anything you have done, but have everything to do with God's timing and Him blessing you when He feels ready. Your own desires are things that God has put in you so that when you receive them, He will get all the glory. Don't ever get discouraged and depressed when you feel like your prayers aren't being answered. Sometimes it takes changing our prayers and asking The Lord for His will to be done instead of telling Him what we want. Stand still and know that He is God. Sometimes when you think God is not listening to you, make sure that you are listening to Him.
